Some casual musing

Hello select few!

I am in a jovial mood at the moment. I'm kinda pissed off too, but my joviality at this time is averting my mind turning it into an issue.

I was thinking of how stubborn some people can be, sometimes it can appear to be a competition that they must win to prove a point. Thing is, they don't know what point they are trying to prove. I wrote recently that I've stepped back from things, people, events. I have done this with a clear conscience, I believe strongly that I made a continuous effort with some people, and I stress this is related to some people, not at somebody in particular. But you know what? You get to a stage when you feel 'what's the point, why shouldn't I expect the same in return?' And so I have stood back and given people the space to either continue being my friend or to get away while they have the chance.

The sheer stubbornness is maybe me believing things that were never there. I wiped my phone a few days ago and managed to fill it with a total of three names up until this point. One of those I would imagine is somebody who read the blog and thought they should text me, the other two I think was because they actually wanted too, I like that. I'm glad I did it, I think I'll continue to do so every few months without warning. Then it'll be easier to know who randomly wants to text me rather than those who just did because they knew I deleted my numbers. The downside of deleting all the numbers is not being able to text other people to say "hello, I like you". Maybe it need not be said, I'm sure other people are not nearly as insecure about their friendships as I am, I can also imagine that the reassurance I need from time to time can be irritating and tiresome, but it's as simple as a hello, I miss you message every so often. This is speaking in general terms, not specifically about myself. I think it's crazy we have all these free texts packages and it's too much to use one of those free texts to let somebody know you care. I'm probably just a bit wet, but the world can be a shitty place at times and it never hurts to receive a pick me up from somebody.

A couple of people who read my blog also talked to me after a long time on skype, It's nice, I like them, and in all honesty, I don't feel that they ever ignored me on purpose. It's impossible to commit your time to everybody you know online. So long as you make sure you have time for your best friends then I have no problem with a casual hello once in a while. I am on the outside of your circles and it's the people inside that matter.

I've been listening to Dave's (of 'Blue Skies' fame) album a lot lately. It's has a very nostalgic feel to it, which I love. It reminds me in places of 'The Wonder Years', and as anybody who knows me will tell you, there is no higher accolade. In particular, I love his softer tracks such as 'The World's Still Ending (But It's Cool)' and 'Another Day, Another Motorway', I think they are awfully pretty. To be honest, although I always heard Dave's songs because he's still one of the few whose videos I keep up with, I hadn't made much effort to go back to songs or get to know them. So, until I got 'The Blackout Sessions' and was able to listening regularly, I don't think I really appreciated how talented he is. But enough of this sycophantic ego massaging. I like it is all. END

I think I might have a bath now, relax with the bubbles and all.