Money and friends

I'm finding distance so incredibly difficult to deal with at the moment. I feel so alone because I don't have anybody to actually hang out with. All, my friends live halfway or more up the Country and it's just impossible to spend time together. It's very hard to cope with, I need to win the lottery. I know everyone would love to and they say money can't bring you happiness however it does open opportunities and make it so much easier to live life the way you want to. It'll never happen of course. Just to have unlimited funds to be with friends, have somewhere to be, things to do. It must be such an incredible feeling to have the cash to do whatever you want. Yeah ok there are probably downsides but I'm sure I could live with them.

There's been a few new skype lists appearing in blogs lately, not so good for people like me, can't help but think I've appeared in at least one and it's not been incredibly positive. I'm going to refrain from doing another full list because It just seems like a way of being harsh to people, so what I will do is say a few things to a few people, none of it negative. This is to my true friends, the people who I know have time for me.

*We talked a week or so back, it was the best talk I've had with you since the old days of stickam. I enjoyed it very much because sometimes I don't feel close enough to you. It seems like we drift apart at times and I would like to make our friendship closer. I can't be the only one to make the extra effort, I guess it's whether you want to.

*Sometimes I'm a complete prick to you. My paranoia and vulnerability often make me question what you think about me, not whether you like me, just whether it's a friendship more special than your average friendship you have with many others. I just need more sometimes.

*Have a great day today. I think you are fantastic and felt so privileged that you came to me recently when you had tough times, It really helped me to appreciate your friendship, sometimes when people chose to confide in me, it just allows me to understand the depth of our friendship. You've been through the wars and I was happy to try and keep you amused with texts.

*We've always talked and it's always felt natural and you more than anyone are the one person I never doubt. I know you want to talk to me, I know how you feel about our friendship and I'm so glad to have you as a friend. I'm happy to be there for you to confide in and I'll always be there for as long as you want me. I just wish the distance wasn't so huge.

*We haven't spoken for a while. Don't ever think it's because I don't value you. I guess with my moods changing all over the place, I've not spent an awful lot of time talking to people. But you know I have a lot of time for you. I also have a great birthday present for you.

*My two Scottish friends need to help us more, there's no project without you guys. I don't feel as close to either of you as I did 12-15 months ago. That shouldn't be the case, talk to me, I wanted you both because I think you're great, a text here and there wouldn't go a miss.

I guess to almost everybody else who would consider themselves my friend. A text just to say hello can often mean a lot every now and then. People drift into their pocket groups and although there is a large group, it still feels like it's made up of smaller tighter friendship groups and that's fine, it's expected, but it could so easily pull the larger group apart if people aren't careful of how closed it can seem to others, maybe we should all make more of an effort to spend extra time talking to those we have neglected.

Right bed.