Blog

I don't know what to write about, the purpose of this is merely to help relieve boredom and use up twenty minutes before Ugly Betty finishes and I can watch it on the PVR.

I just talked to Tom briefly in Stickam, it were just me and him for a bit which was nice because I've felt more distant from him recently. I like Tom, he is a nice young man, most of the time. As for my relationships with other people at the moment, as ever, it's up and down. I feel let down by certain people, some more than others and rarely they want to make an effort to put it right, even though they know something must be wrong. Certain people don't talk to you for days and weeks and I guess I'm supposed to be fine with that. I can't always be the one making the effort. I guess it's more a matter of me needing their friendship but them certainly not needing mine. But complicated though I may be, I feel justified in feeling pissed off when I'm ignored.

Got the Kings of Leon album the other day, haven't listened to it much but I will and I'm sure it'll be as fantastic as the last three. One album I have been playing rather a lot is the Spice Girls greatest hits CD and the first ten tracks are amazing, they remind me of being young. Being taken back to my youth is a great feeling until you realise you can never get it back. I wish I could look forward and be excited by times ahead but I love nostalgia, I am a pessimist and I yearn to be young and carefree. Being an adult is far too complicated and I've been far too confused and unhappy for too long for adulthood to be even the slightest bit appealing. I was reading Mr Day's blog earlier and I wish I could adopt his philosophy on life, I admire the way he lives his life but I also know I could never live that way as much as I would like to.

Some people do want to talk to me and some people do confide in me, those people don't know it, but it means a lot to me. It's all very well to have hundreds of friends, they just become numbers. Inevitably, you can't please that many people, so friendships will weaken and you'll end up with a hell of a lot of acquaintances but nobody to really talk to. That's not for me.

Righto, It's pretty much time for Ugly Betty to finish, so I shall wrap this blog up here and say goodbye.

Sowing the seeds of love

Move over Cilla

I've spent the last few days plotting to bring two Glasgow based singletons together. To be honest, I'm not hugely bothered if they get together romantically but the pair of them live so close that it seems silly for them not to hook up and hang out. On her part, my observations of her is that she's a little shy and lacking in self confidence but I've made assumptions of her before and she's totally ripped into me for it. But it's obvious to me that she's not comfortable meeting people and I can definitely appreciate that, I am exactly the same.

Having said that, without trying to sound too patronising, I was proud of her for going round to his last night because she had a stickam audience to deal with, I tried to keep conversation up so that silences were at a minimum but once I left, she spend an hour or so with him bugging the borzoi apparently so things couldn't have been that bad.

Anyway, as far as I'm concerned, she's gotten a rough deal, she's quiet, she's not a sheep that follows the crowd and when you don't follow the crowd, the pack often cast you aside. I think she has a lot to offer, if not romantically then certainly as a new friend that he can hang about with.

I'm watching Davis Cup tennis and it's beautiful and sunny today, the last of summer is here and today it feels very nice.

Ta'ra

:D

haha 'wounded heart', how over dramatic is that?

I can't think of a title

I'm not talking to a few people at the moment, they probably don't know why they make me unhappy but I can't constantly tell them. I've just come to the conclusion that I'm an acquaintance and that's it, sure they don't mind me, but nothing more.

Spoke with GC last night which cheers me up, I actually get the feeling he wants to talk to me, which makes a change. There are few friends who I feel this about, maybe only 2 or 3 but they mean a lot to me.

In other news, I have none. I feel I should blog about something else besides my wounded heart all the fucking time but I can't think of anything else interesting to say, so I guess rather than babble on, I'll leave it there!

Bye

Guess what...

I just bought the spice girls greatest hits for £4.99 delivered off play.com.

I am cool!

Is it homosexual to find kickthepj attractive? If it is then I don't.

The inner circle

I just realised this minute that I am no longer a part of the inner circle, the group has expanded and I am now longer considered. So I guess there's no more point in trying:(

Pav

I don't talk with many new people on skype. I am not very good initiating new relationships. Turns out Pav isn't either. I am currently talking to him on skype now and it is less awkward than I thought It'd be. I will convince him to make videos on youtube. I think he's swell!

Jealousy

Probably one of my worst character traits. There are many people I dislike which probably stem from jealousy. I wont name names, but whether it's because people are more liked than me, more subbed than me, I can't help but resent it. When I start off disliking somebody and then everybody loves them, I resent them all the more. It's certainly not their problem, it's mine and I'm sure many of the people I dislike are nice people. But I shall not admit defeat, I'm not ready to be happy just yet.

On a separate note, I had a dream the other night that John Cox was my Cousin and we only just found out, It was awesome, because I love John. Then my dog won crufts.