My Stickam Timeline

Just over a year ago, I signed up for a stickam account. At first it scared the life out of me because it was people I didn't know asking questions, that isn't comfortable for me. So for a couple of months, I rarely used it.

However, now I have to admit my guilt, I used to be subscribed to Blade376 and my first taste of getting to know people was on stickam, I say people, it was really only Dale, after we talked for some time on MSN, I ditched Myles' room and only went in to Dale's live chat, from there Dale pointed me in the direction of a guy called Daveyboyz, he said, come in, he's really nice (some people may think that is no longer the case)

Davey's room was the first regular stickam hang out, it was the place when I met my first few online friends other than Dale. They were, Davey, Sydney and Dave (musicfromblueskies). At the time, neither Dave's had been featured and I believe they had about 500 subscribers each. Because there was only five or six of us that chatted nightly, the bond I felt between myself and them was strong.

It was at this point, a lady by the name of Mhairi started to go live on stickam. I knew vaguely of Mhazz because of my adoration of Alex (Nerimon) and so I decided to go to her live. It was great, it was all new to her and so she was so enthusiastic and greeted everybody as if they were her best friend, it was slightly different, there were more people in Mhazz's live, but not so many that it was uncomfortable and impersonal. She had about 1000 subscribers at the time and I met a few others, them being Ginger Chris, John Cox, Sinead and Jess. Added to Dale, the Dave's and Sydney, I consider these eight to be the core group which I enjoyed hanging out night after night with. As Mhazz described it at the time, 'it's like a group of friends hanging out in somebodies room, but on the internet'. This was a good time and it all felt close.

Over Christmas 2007, we hung about in eachother's rooms, I played Chrismas music and it was good fun. At the time I only saw the friendships getting closer, perhaps not so with Jess, I never really got the feeling she liked me, for a time it seemed closer however I got the feeling she needed to make an effort to either tolerate or like me. But, my friendships withe the rest seemed strong.

I think there were several factors that killed of the 'special relationship' I had with stickam and the people on it. Firstly, both Dave's were featured on the front page of youtube, this meant that they had immediately more people interested in talking to them. As everybody knows by now, I am not hugely accepting of new people and I'm sorry to say that most newbies I take an instant dislike to that rarely changes.

The more key reason I think the stickam spirit has died is because of youstaged. At the time of youstaged, the vloggers needed to bring all their subscribers together in order to gain the most votes. This meant that lots of subscribers of Myles amounst others, started to become aware of Davey and Dave. It was okay for a time because a lot of those people were all together in one youstaged stickam room, although this was the time Davey realised he could have fans and no longer needed his current friends.

The big question was, where were all the youstage fans going to go after it had finished? Answer, where the youstagers were, so while many went in to Myles' chat room, many came into the rooms we had considered our 'online bedrooms', from this point on, it didn't feel close anymore, probably for a combination of reasons, me being unaccepting of new people was one factor for sure, however the rooms became too crowded and impersonal to feel special anymore and the close relationships I had formed with people over the months preceeding 'youstaged' were dwindling.

At that time I tried to save those relationships by going live myself and setting the room to private and not accepting any new friend invites. This was so, our core group could still hang out. But this caused problems, I got many invites from people wanting to come in to my live, I had people in the room asking if I could let somebody in, which I knew that if I did, the floodgates would open and it would defeat the purpose of keeping the room private. Other people from our close group stopped coming in because I wouldn't let other people in, so eventually I gave up.

I've tried on and off since then to intergrate into the new stickam hardcore however it no longer feels natural, I'm sure the people are very nice, however it feels like going to a party with all of your friend's mates, you don't feel like you belong. On top of that, for some reason stickam seems boring now. I don't remember what we used to talk about prior to Christmas 2007, but I know we happily chatted in to the wee small hours of the morning and it felt good. It seems hard to spend an hour in stickam now without being bored, picking a target to constantly rip on gets tired, I don't see it as worthwhile.

It's very rare but occassionally there is a very good stickam day, where things seem right again, but they only cme along every couple of months and I go on so rarely now that I probably miss them. It's sad for me, I miss those close friends I made nearly one year ago.

Even now, many months on, I consider that core group to be my only friends, with the addition of PJ, who I adore. Our friendships have weakened in recent months and while I feel a strong bond with a couple of you, I wish the rest of us were as tight as we once were.